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Android Pfeffer's Boneless Heart Club Band

May 25, 2017

In 1967  the Beatles shocked the world with the release of Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

 

Fifty years later a group of immigrants from another Galaxy are taking the world by storm with their album Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band.  

 

The first single released from the  album, entitled  Lucy Sold Her Sky for Diamonds, has been topping the British charts for over six weeks now and is keeping Simon Cowell up late at night in an attempt to find a way to launch a counter attack and protect his interests.

Original Wit reporters have managed to cut through the media fog surrounding the new group and promised album and have actually met with group leader and vocalist Android Pfeffer, a seven foot, tinny, introverted rocker. Though Android revealed little regarding the background of the group and its members, he was agreeable enough to provide Original Wit  with some of the lyrics from the first side of the album that is due out later this year. Here are some of the lyrics from side one.

 

 

 Android Pfeffer's Boneless Heart Club Band

 

 It is fifty or so years from now

 Sgt. Pepper takes his final bow.

Been replaced by android RC3

Quite a rocker as you soon will see

So let me introduce to you the band with not a beat to spare

Android Pfeffer's Boneless Heart Club Band

 

We're Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band

We're beamed to you from outer space.

We're Android Pfeffer's awfully lonely Boneless Hearts Club Band

We boast no members of the human race.

Android Pfeffer's Clones Best

Android Pfeffer's Boneless

Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band

 

You wonder how we got here

And conquered this here dome.

Sit back and hear our odyssey

Please try to feel at home with us

Please try and feel at home.

I don't really want to stop the show

But there's a fact I think you all should know.

There's a singers gonna sing a song

And he's decreed that you must sing along.

So let me introduce to you

The one and only Draco Shears

And Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band.

 

I Could Die for a Little Blood from my Friends

 

What might I do if you sang out of tune

 I might be forced to come and show you my knives.

Please pay attention, I'll say this but once,

If you care in the least for your lives.

Oh I won't lie, I drink the blood of my friends

Yes by and by I like to drink from my friends

Oh, I just drink till all the red liquid ends.

 

What do you do when your love is away,

Does it worry you to be alone?

How would you feel at the end of day

When I dry you and leave you to moan?

Oh I won't lie I drink the blood of my friends

By and by I like to drink from my friends

Oh I just just drink till the red liquid ends

 

Do you need some more bodies?

No thank you I've got quite enough.

Can I sell you my body?

No thank you I've seen quite enough.

 

Oh I won't lie I drink the blood of my friends

By and by I like to drink from my friends

Oh I just drink till the red liquid ends.

 

 

 Lucy's Sold her Sky for Diamonds

 

Picture yourself on a trip to Hiroshima

With tangerine eyes and hard purple rain

Somebody calls you, could be an enigma

Or a rat that's as big as a train.

Elephant trunks call from plastic bouquets

Beckoning to show you the way

Look out for samba to help you escape 'fore he's gone.

 

Lucy sold her sky for diamonds

Lucy sold her sky for diamonds

Lucy sold her sky for diamonds

Ah ha

 

Follow her down to a bridge on a river

Where once there was water but now has run dry.

 Lucy just laughs when you offer to save her

 For the living dead surely can't die.

Junkies and monkeys await on the bridge

Determined to take you away.

You wink for a drink

Alas when it sinks in, she is gone.

 

Lucy sold her sky for diamonds

Lucy sold her sky for diamonds

Lucy sold her sky for diamonds

 

Picture yourself on a train in a station

Where everyone's coming to wave you goodbye.

Suddenly something will catch your attention

A rat that's grown forty feet high

 

Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds

Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds

 Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds.

Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds

 

 

It's Getting Wetter

 

It's getting wetter all the time, wetter wetter wetter

It's getting wetter all the time, wetter wetter wetter

 

I used to go dance in the rain.

My Ma did advise to refrain.

Gene Kelly and me, we lived to be free

And the friends of mine all did the same.

 

You've got to admit it's getting wetter

It's getting wetter no mistake.

Yes I admit it's getting wetter

So much wetter, for heavens sake.

 

I used to spend time in the park

I'd stay there until it got dark

The sun shone all day

But to my dismay

 I now have to build me an ark

 

Cause as you can see it's getting wetter,

Getting wetter, mark my words.

Yes I admit it's getting wetter

Getting wetter, I guess you heard

Getting so much wetter all the time.

 

 I used to conserve all the water in faucets,

Taught all my daughters, not to waste what was rare.

Now things have changed

It just pours when it rains

And my shower's a daily affair

 

Cause as you can see it's getting wetter

Getting wetter mark my words.

Yes I admit it's getting wetter

Getting wetter, I guess you heard

Getting so much wetter all the time.

 

 

Fixing a Hole

 

I'm fixing a hole on the top my head

That's caused malfunction and they said

“I need to go.”

I'm filled up with crack,

someone though it a joke

And now I walk just like a bloke

Who needs to go.

 

And it really doesn't matter how much oil I eat

For I'll be obsolete, before the morn.

 Itsy bitzy robots sold on shelves,

On sale tomorrow

And a dumpster, I will follow

Short of dawn.

 

I'm turning the screw with which I hope to undo

Any problem due to rust, then I'll be

Like new.

 

Then it really will not matter how much oil I eat

Because I'll keep it neat, no-one will know.

 People see me on the street

Will comment he has such nice feet,

I won't be indiscreet, not me oh no!

I'm finishing up and think I've done a good job

And if me legs stay on, I'm out of here

So here I go.

 

 I've fixed up the hole on the top of my head

That's caused malfunction so they said

So off I go.

I've fixed up the hole on the top of my head

That's caused malfunction so they said

So off I go.

 

 

 

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