Adventures with a Taxi Driver

I'm a commuter, something I'm not ashamed of. Among other things it gives me free time to write this blog.

Most mornings I catch a taxi to the station. I'm not much of a talker in the morning, but some of the drivers fail to appreciate this. It is a major achievement that during a seven minute journey the driver can tell me the complete story of his life down to the most minute and personal detail.

After such a journey I know why he has been divorced three times, how much alimony he pays and the number of abortions he has had to finance.

Another interesting incite is the fact that taxi drivers all belong to a heavily persecuted minority group. The police force, IRA and local municipalities all have it in for them.

It might interest some of my more ignorant readers to know that many taxi drivers suffer from the rare disease known as nocbumperania. The symptoms are easily recognizable but sadly incurable. Drivers suffering from this ailment are unable to see pedestrian humps or crossings. Some experts believe this is often due to an overdose of trial rides taken on Space Mountain.

If all this wasn't enough to make their lives miserable, many of the taxi drivers also suffer from being completely tone deaf which is clearly obvious when they accompany the songs that are blasting at full pitch from the car radio.

It is with all this bearing in mind that I pray that the next time you meet up with one of their kind you open your wallet generously – and please no large bills!


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