Expressway to Heaven

Sometimes a stairway isn't enough

There’s a lady who’s sure

Every clam holds an oyster

And she’s driving the expressway to heaven.

While she’d powdered her nose

And kept texting on Twitter

how’d she miss on the semi from Devon?


She was known to be bright An I.Q. of a million That went AWOL when she drove her Camaro. If she once looked at the road ‘Stead of the face in the mirror She’d have known that it was far, far too narrow.


Why did she overtake?


There’s a sign on the door But she wants to be sure ‘Cause you know sometimes words have Two meanings. In the words of the bard it says “We welcome all idiots” She thinks: “There is really no need to hurt my feelings”.


Ooh, Don’t it make you wonder?

Ooh, it makes me wonder.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ooh, whoa, oh

And she bought it on the expressway to heaven.


If there’s a ding dong or mobile

Don’t be alarmed now

It’s just a text for you from Macy’s.

Now’s not the time to text your lover

Or another

Maybe it’s time to check the road your on.


And too many people charge the road Why they are in a hurry, no-one knows. There drives a lady we all know Whose mobile phone controls her show. As from the radio comes Led, Who follows Trucking by The Dead. The tunes keep running through her head. If only life was taken slow, We could spend some more time on the go, Instead of driving the expressway To heaven…


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