...that creepy guy on the train who is unable to extract the finger from his nostril and who wears a torn pair of black bell bottom jeans, gets up to give you a seat.
...the guy at the local convenience store starts wrapping pickles for you before you even get to the counter.
...your homeroom teacher suggests that you both have a little talk.
...the neighborhood kids want to use you as a trampoline.
...your boyfriend is more interested in the rerun of the second Sex and the City movie than having sex with you.
...your breasts are finally the size your husband always dreamed about but he won't go near them.
...you get tons of invitations to appear as Baggy the clown at pre-school birthday parties.
...even the dog doesn't want a hug.