What NOT to take on your Honeymoon

1. Your ex wife (even if she does look like Bar Raphaeli).

2. Bridget Jones' panties.

3. Travel scrabble

4. Your mother

5. Your mother-in-law (even if she's sexier than your ex-wife)

6. Your three kids from your previous marriage who your future wife swears she adores but has secret plans to send to a boarding school at an island off the coast of New Zealand.

7. Your school homework. Your future husband, twenty years your senior, will be happy to help you catch up when you get back.

8. Your pet Labrador Joe who is very affectionate but might get the wrong idea when he finds himself in the bridal suite.

9. Your twin sister Mary. I know that you two do everything together but there comes a time....

10. OK, if your husband wants you to bring Mary along that's fine, but don't say I didn't warn you.

11. Your work laptop. Believe me those tweets telling the world what you are doing at every moment are greatly overrated.

12. Your wife (just kidding) hey I didn't mean it. No need to throw that at me!!!!



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