www.original-wit.net © 2017 by Steve Taite

The Bel Air Kindergarten of the Arts Some parents will do anything to get in!

The Bel Air Kindergarten of the Arts is run by a Ms. Fanny Hardbottom. Fanny, majored in the performing arts and even starred for a short time in a one woman show playing Off Broadway . Actually that story isn't entirely accurate. Ms. Hardbottom performed a one man show on the corner of Broadway and 42nd Street for almost twenty minutes before a cop threatened to bring her in for loitering.  Anyway, since then she has been managing this extraordinary kindergarten for gifted children whose parents are able to afford the $5000 a month fee and provide ample references (legal documents ascertaining the kid’s relation to at least two former mega stars or a Xerox of a recent bank account overflowing with zeros. Before final acceptance of a candidate for the kindergarten the child and his/her parents must first pass the audition phase which each year is based on a  musical. This year the B.A.K. did Chorus Line.

 

Stand, kick, smile, leap, sing, flip checkbook...Again!

Stand, kick, smile, leap, sing, flip checkbook...Again!

And... Turn, bend, take a pen , not enough, try again

Turn, bend, take a pen, not enough, try again

From the top. A-Five, six, seven, eight!

[Parent1]

God, I hope we get in.

I hope we get in.

I've had to mortgage my new yacht?

 

[Parent2]

God, I hope we get in.

 

[Parent3]

I hope we get in

How many boys, how many girls?

 

[ALL]

Look at all the jewelry!

I'm not so sure we...

Have got the pedigree or seed?

It's mighty costly?

How many toddlers  does she...?

 

[Henry Corey Jackson III (aged 3 ]

I really need to go.

I'm diaperless, you know.

I can't hold on. OH NO!.

 

[Group of Kids]

God, I really blew it!

I really blew it!

How could I do a thing like that?

 

[GIRLS]

How could you do a thing like...

 

[ALL]

Now I'll never make it!

I'll never make it!

I made a puddle on the floor.

My Mum is running for the door

Does this mean I won't come here for...

 

[Henry Corey Jackson III (aged 3]

GOD, I think I've got in.

I think I've got in.

I knew she liked me none the less

Dad's giving her more money.

 

[Parent3]

In years we'll think of this as funny.

 

[Kids]

We've come this far, but tell me why

My parents continue to lie

About the fact that I am dry.

 

[Henry Corey Jackson III (aged 3]

I need to go again.

 

[A FEW VOICES]

We hope she won't complain

 

[ALL]

Oh  here we go again.